MARK CUGINI

BOUQUET FOR A PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE PULL SET TO FIRE

after Christian Holden

In the face of a great wave, I carry my anxious heart like a bag of marbles. The soundtrack of clanking glass tessellates from the shore. It's my fault: entire cities collapse; people drown. But fuck the horror of it all. Singing birds tell me tear these buildings down and I am no longer afraid of the dynamite-lined walls of my tortured lungs. If being born near the edge of a cursed river has taught me anything it's that survival is a concrete noun: home, house, eloquence. I am constantly being chased by a pack of wolves named trauma and yet I exist in this forest with a trembling fist & a frantic urge to make me beautiful. A glittering faith. A gorgeous tumor. I did not come here to be nourished but I do. On the eve of my 35th birthday, a petite fawn crawls out of my thigh & buries her auburn head into my lap.  Blame softly she tells me but don't blame yourself. Stay with me. I'm going to keep us safe.

Mark Cugini is a soft switch from Staten Island, NY. They are the founder of Big Lucks, a co-organizer of Whale Prom, & a member of Best Buds! Collective. Their chapbook I'M SORRY IF MY TRAUMATIZED LIFE IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO YOUR PERFECT EXISTENCE will be released this summer.