LIO MIN
GIRLMATH
they love Him! He, so merciful and generous and strong. so righteous and right and, um, right. so forgiving when they don't say the right thing, because they're just them, silly and giggling, gulls chittering by the sand pulled slowly back into the sea. but their love will never be pulled, no, they give it to Him freely, because he can be so forceful if they don't, but no it's free, free like a wink behind a laugh, free like the blush a beat behind a slap, free like a scream cut off from
He's so great. He dreams big and wants the most and schemes to do the least. that’s how He wins. they think that's so smart, and maybe they take notes about how He works but it would never work for them, no, of course not, they are them and He is He, He speaks with authority and they're just, oh, it's too much to even think, so He thinks for them, a kindness really, though He is not kind, to be kind would be to be weak and only they are that weak, to wish the spider outside in a cup instead of slamming a palm against it. yes, the world is a spider and yes, He slaps it and yes, they wonder if the spider had to be slapped but alas they couldn't bring themselves to stop it, they couldn't
the bed is made. the kettle's whistling. the laundry is folded and the skirts have been hemmed, shorter, and the shirts have been hemmed, tighter, and the hair has been let out, longer, in styles, yes, the dimensions are minmaxed, but, what if He says He doesn't like this that way, He doesn't see this that way, He walks by them wondering out loud if they are so stupid as to think He can be anticipated, there are no preparations for the wild maverick of will and might, except to fail fail fail fail fail they fail even though He said
He can never fail He is always right in the right He is the light He is every light
they bring their bodies up to it one for Him two for Him three four up to infinity yes He Him His
there is only one pronoun He Him His
no He Him His thinks also Me Mine My
Mine
like a gull
no! He is an eagle He is a brave bold eagle
Mine
He is an eagle on a shield a great gold shield
Mine
He is an eagle on an emblem patched onto a gold uniform with gold tassels and a curious cross
Mine!
He is
Mine!
He is a feather in a cap watching them claw each other in their harpy breasts
thinking, Mine
mind your own business
what is Your?
they hiss that is wrong
to be Your?
no your only His
He knows the
Mine
they give it freely they say! freely! He understands their business and
Mine
it doesn't have to make sense to them, they just feel
Me
they relinquish reject rejoice in how little they know because that's freedom, after all, freedom means moving through the world in a veil, in a shroud, in a
Body Bag
no that's not
Mine
it's hard to be wrong, they coo, it's so right to be right
My
generosity is weakness reciprocity is weakness intuition is weakness but
Mine
is perfect and true
Mine
know what is best for Me and You
no not like that
NOT LIKE THAT
why give it up? why let it go? why
He said
said
it's too easy
they have it too easy and life is too easy
and they will have it hard as they like it yeah you like it hard
yeah
yeah
choke on
yeah
Me
yeah
Mine
NO
My
nothing there's nothing they want nothing but to be used as
My
is it too
there is no they
late
there is no them
late
there is no
their Me
in the
Mine
of the
My they seek
I I seek
I
I
I
Lio Min is the acclaimed author of Beating Heart Baby, a longtime music reporter, a MacDowell fellow, and a fullmetal optimist. The L.O.V.E. Club is their second novel. Min lives in Oakland, California, and writes toward the future.